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Theft is a Dish Best Served Cold

August 12, 2009 - TF Announcer

I would like to thank you for emailing us to point out that Viaduct is not the first TF2 map to feature snow. More importantly, I would like to thank you for stopping.


In accordance with our corporate policies on plagiarism, Corey Peters—the person responsible for Viaduct—has been forced to uninstall Hammer under the supervision of our crack security team. He was then asked to remove his hard drive and bludgeon it to pieces with a stapler, also under the supervision of our crack security team. Lastly, he was bludgeoned to pieces by our crack security team. He is currently in surgery having important organs replaced. I have seen to it that any map-making appendages he possesses (all of them, to be safe) are removed, so that an oversight of this grievous magnitude will not occur again.

Dhabih Eng—the artist behind the Innovative Snow Effect Never Seen Before in an FPS (his words)—has been suitably reprimanded, and by this we mean he has been launched into space, where I'm told there will be plenty of snow for him to steal. The writers behind the "first Team Fortress map to take place during a snowfall" line on our website have been replaced with new, better writers. (They're surprisingly easy to come by.)

I hope this is the last I'll hear of the matter. Any further emails regarding this will be forwarded to our crack security team.

You have found this post informative,

The Administrator