Awooo, folks! It’s almost that time of year again: Halloween. Normally that’d mean we’d be putting the final touches on our annual Halloween event, but this year we’re working on something even better: an all-new Pyro Pack, improvements to Comp Mode, and a big new update and campaign.
But that doesn’t mean Halloween’s cancelled. Next week, as always, every past Scream Fortress event will rise from the dead to terrorize your computers for a limited, horrifying time, including last year’s Merasmissions. We’ll also be shipping some community Halloween maps, all-new custom contracts for those maps, a new Halloween taunt, a new item that gives unusual effects to taunts, and a new cosmetics case!
And it wouldn’t be a Halloween pre-announcement blog post if we didn’t scare most of you TO DEATH. For instance: What if just now you heard the rattling moon-lit sound of a SKELETON? No, nothing? Everybody still alive? Okay, but what if that sound was coming from INSIDE YOUR OWN BODY? Because there’s a SKELETON in there RIGHT NOW? Oh, you already knew that, did you? Well, what if we were to tell you it’s STEVE BUSCEMI’S SKELETON? How did it get INSIDE you? What did he do with YOUR skeleton? Why don’t you ask him, because he’s RIGHT BEHIND YOU! No, look down! Farther! Because he’s just a puddle of flesh with two BULGING EYEBALLS staring up at you! And a SNAGGLE-TOOTH! That’s right, you just BODY-SHAMED STEVE BUSCEMI! Because it was YOU writing this blog post the WHOLE TIME! AWOOOOO!
Happy pre-Halloween, everyone who’s still alive after reading that! (Probably not many of you.)