New maps? Yawn. New weapons? BORING. We know what the community really wants: hats. At least that's how it used to be, back when times were simple and Pink as Hell was merely a bullet point on some drunk intern's list of "gRAt e tf2 ides". No, it's like the "tweens" today only seem to care about their newfangled robo-bots.
That's why, when Valve offered us the chance to make our very own "Official Team Fortress Update", it was obvious what we had to do (hint: make more hats). If we remember correctly, the conversation went something like this:
VALVE: Help, we forgot how to do our jobs! Please make a new update or else the giant iguana posing as Gabe Newell will fire us and have us escorted out by security in that order!
MODEST COMMUNITY MEMBER: Fear not, incompetent Valve employees, the community is here to save the day once again. We have but one stipulation: we will not make robot hats under any circumstances and that's final. Unless you pay us lots of money.