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How I do love the holiday season. A time of year that makes the sweet things in life seem so much the sweeter. A time when ignoring the mournful cries of a litter of famished puppies provides the deep satisfaction of labored accomplishment. A time when delivering a sharp kick to the exposed shin of a desperate beggar takes on a certain character of charity. A time when sending one's witless minions repeatedly to their deaths at the hands of their equally witless enemies provides an unrivaled and noble joy.
So it is that in a fit of holiday induced discomposure I requested that Mr. Hale increase his shipments of weapons and equipment for exactly one week. Do not, my dear reader, interpret this as a sign of approval. Do not mistake me for thinking you worthy of this gift. I am merely attempting to ensure that you are properly equipped for the duties that you are required to fulfill as detailed in the contract that each of you signed. There are control points that need capturing, intelligence that needs recovering, and hats to be secured.
For those of you with more beard on your necks than sense in your heads -- those of you who feel compelled to analyze my every word with the exacting scrutiny of the socially disenfranchised -- I will provide the tedious technical details. From December 23rd to December 30th, a period of exactly one week, the rate at which items drop will be doubled. You might call this a "Double Drop Rate Week," but I call it an act of mercy. After all, we can't very well send you charging into battle without a proper gun now can we?
- The Administrator
P.S.: Miss Pauling has stated her desire to gift each of you with a "stocking stuffer." I have decided to allow her this unbecoming demonstration of affection. Perhaps when she is exposed to the full force of your indifference Miss Pauling's misplaced sense of devotion will wither and die much like my interest in continuing this correspondence.