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The word "hero" gets thrown around a lot these days. Mostly by cowards who've never killed a man for no reason. But if you're a distinguished war veteran like me, you know that only three types of people deserve to be called "hero": men who dive on top of live grenades, men with the cahones to throw a live grenade, and the hard working men and women on the assembly line building live grenades.
That is it. End of story. No exceptions.
Having said that, if you're a distinguished war veteran like me, you also know how the chain of command works. So when some pencilneck down at TF2 HQ tells you to write a blog post adding someone to the Hero List, you do it! So listen up, because the hundreds of 3D modelers, texture artists, concept artists and other creative types who submit to the Workshop each and every day are the greatest generation of heroes, and Kritzkast is honoring them. These are just some of the many people who've made Team Fortress 2 what it is today, and by God, they deserve your respect until we are told otherwise.
Well, it's December again, assuming you adhere to the Gregorian Calendar, there's an etching of frost on the ol' window panes, unless you live somewhere temperate, and the lights are shining brightly on the ol' tree you may or may not have, depending on religious affiliation and stance on deforestation. That can only mean one thing: It's Smissmas, everybody! It's a holiday we invented that we'd love you to celebrate with us.
We're of course shipping the usual Smissmas celebrations, including new festive weapons, new winter-themed community cosmetics, and a great big sale in the Mann Co. Store. And starting this year, we're also giving everyone who plays during the event a Stocking Stuffer full of goodies. Click here for a full list of changes, fixes, and new content.
2013's been a great year for Team Fortress 2, and next year's looking to be even better. We've got some truly big surprises planned for 2014, and since nobody wants them delayed until 2015, we'd better get back to work.
We've been busy these last few months, trying to settle a longstanding debate as to what "bimonthly" actually means. Some members of the team are convinced it means "once every two months." Others maintain even trying to define it would ruin the enchanting mystery of reading. Anyway, three months later we're no closer to an answer. However, we are close to releasing the second issue of Team Fortress Comics, this time as a tri-monthly publication. How close? It's here.
When we last left our gripping ongoing tale, Saxton Hale had lost Mann Co. to the scheming Gray Mann and disappeared to parts unknown. The TF2 mercs, now out of jobs, had scattered to the winds—until six months later, when Miss Pauling started reassembling the team under orders from an in-hiding Administrator. With Demo, Soldier and Pyro on board, our team heads to Teufort to rescue Spy and Scout from the hangman's noose. Find out what happens next in Part Two, titled "Unhappy Returns".
You voted. We counted the votes. More accurately, we watched while a computer programmed to count votes counted all the votes. Then, just when we were thinking it had been a while, and maybe the computer was broken, bam. It spit out a card with the 2013 Saxxy nominees punched into it. Then it spit out confetti. Then it self-destructed from all the pageantry. Then—you know what, there were about thirty-seven more things that happened, but we're looking at them now and most of them involve us trying to fix the vote-counting computer, so let's skip to the part where the nominees are live, at sourcefilmmaker.com, for your viewing pleasure!
We've also posted a list of this year's Honorable Mentions, so give them a look too! Or, if you don't feel like reading, why not wait for the honorable mentioning robot to come to your town and read them to you as part of his cross-country Honor Mentioning tour? Nevermind, he just broke trying to open the door.
"'Who here likes good times?' asked David Copperfield as he removed his shirt and popped a whistle in his mouth with the words GOOD TIMES etched in its side. He began tooting on the whistle, signaling the beginning of the good times."
So begins Charles Dickens' feel-good sequel to The Tale of Two Cities, the 800-page Bleak House (a printing error that misspelled the book's original title Good Times Beach House). Day Two of our Two Cities Update picks up in the spirit of Dickens with 100% good times-dedicated announcements: A new animated short, another new map, some more achievements, and some long-anticipated upgrades.