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It's been a whole year since you guys played a Team Fortress Halloween map. If we threw you into the 900-mile-an-hour hellride we've got planned this year without warming you up first, you'd essentially be going from an idle state of terrorlessness to a shrieking nightmare of solid 100% terror almost instantly. It would be the equivalent of going from seeing zero skeletons to seeing a thousand skeletons at once. Are your eyes deceiving you? That's when you reach up to your eyes and realize... they are also skeletons! AWOOOOO!
A shock to the system like that wouldn't just kill you. It would make you crap your pants (not fatal), turn your hair white (still okay), and make your heart beat so fast it would blow up your ribcage (now you're dead).
Luckily, you can now play previous years' Halloween spectaculars to get your shock tolerance up in advance of the update. Simply boot up the game, hop into multiplayer and quickplay any of our past five Scream Fortress updates. If you've missed out on previous Team Fortress Halloweens, or are new to TF2 in general, this is a perfect time to catch up.
Also, remember to LOOK WHAT'S IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IT IS THE WOLFMAN'S CAR! See? That was so scary it almost put you in a coma. Get practicing.
Good news, everybody! We've decided to release the latest issue of our annual comic book six months early!
And what an issue it is! This double-sized monster has got it all, folks! All the action! All the words we know! 113 pulse-crushing, revelation-choked pages! It took us years to write—but thanks to modern reading techniques, it will only take you minutes to read!
That said, we hope you're not scared of skeletons, because yours is about to fall out of your gaping mouth when you get a load of the shocking plot twists inside this issue.
Read on for Part Four of Team Fortress Comics: Blood in the Water!
It was one of the tightest Saxxy races we've ever had, with a lot of heated debate here at Valve. But even with so many great entries, it's still a contest, and someone's got to win.
Luckily, someone did! Announcing the winners of the 2014 Saxxy Awards! Head over and check them out. All winners will get an exclusive, highly rare in-game Saxxy Award, and The Overall Winner's getting flown out to Seattle to spend some time with us here at Valve.
It's Hollywood legend that a young Steven Spielberg broke into the Universal lot to start his movie career. Less well known is that Francis Ford Coppola poisoned the head of development at Paramount with bleach, or that George Lucas knifed six guards in a prison riot to get Star Wars made.
There are two takeaways from this. One: America's filmmakers are degenerate thugs. Two: Security was a
Luckily, you don't have to. Introducing the nominees for the 2014 Saxxy Awards, who were able to be incredibly creative without being the prime suspect in a string of brutal unsolved murders in 1974 (John Carpenter).
The summer blockbuster season is over, which means we're heading into Oscar season, which means a lot fewer movies with talking raccoons breaking out of space jail and Captain Americas Legolassing fighter jets and a lot more movies with Colin Firth being sad.
But just because theater movies won't get fun again for six months doesn't mean there isn't anything good to watch. Why? Because voting has started on the Fourth Annual Saxxy Awards! With Portal and Left 4 Dead assets now in the mix, this promises to be the biggest Saxxys yet.
Voting ends 11:59PM PDT on Monday, September 29th, so if you want your upvotes and downvotes to get counted, get in there and start watching! (Also, if you could help us out, don't forget to downvote entries that violate the Saxxy Awards rules: No ads, and the short must link to any music/assets that weren’t created by the submitter.) Head over to Source Filmmaker for more information and contest rules.