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Only a Thousand Hours Left Until the Witching Hour!

September 18, 2013 - TF2 Team

It's just over a month until the scariest day of the year, but you'd never know it by looking at the TF2 Workshop. No, suddenly everybody's too cool to be so scared of Halloween that they're even scared of it 42 days before it happens. Well, gather round the campfire and let us tell you a story about somebody else who thought he wasn't scared of Halloween just because it wasn’t anywhere close to being Halloween. He was at his wife's office building for a Christmas party, and he thought he was in the clear, because that's like ten months away from Halloween, right?

Wrong. A whole team of ghosts took over the Christmas party, and he was caught so unprepared by how incredibly scary they were that his shoes flew off and he hid in an elevator shaft so the ghosts couldn't scare him anymore, but it turned out the ghosts were just after money.

That man was Bruce Willis in the haunted house classic Die Hard, and it should teach you a valuable lesson about showing a little advance respect for Halloween. And you can show that respect by designing and uploading scary workshop items for this year's upcoming Halloween event. We're only going to ship items marked with a "Halloween 2013" tag, so remember to tag your holiday-themed items when you submit them. (You can re-upload old Halloween items that weren't accepted last time and mark them with the "Halloween 2013" tag for reconsideration.)

Also remember that anything you submit with this tag will be restricted to Halloween and Full Moons. And because it's restricted to Halloween and Full Moons, get creative! The tonal restrictions we normally ask our Workshoppers to observe with TF2 items don't really apply to a holiday where wizards and bomb books regularly attack from glowing skull islands, so if there's anything crazy you've been itching to make, now's the time.

Lastly, don't forget to use the in-game tool, because we don't care how scary your items are, if they're not Gold Star certified, they're the wrong kind of scary—like the difference between being scared by a Wolfman and being scared by a Wolfman getting hit by a car while jaywalking across the street to scare you.

Introducing Trade Offers

September 4, 2013 - TF2 Team

Some of the Steam folks dropped by the TF offices this morning with some interesting news: They've just shipped a new feature they're calling Trade Offers. It's similar to regular trading, except you can propose which items will get traded. Whoever you're trading with can then choose to accept or decline your offer, or make a potentially interesting counter-offer.

The best part is, you don't even both have to be online at the same time now. You can make trades while you sleep! While you're having dinner! Even while you're going to the bathroom. All cards on the table here, pretty much the entire blog post up until this sentence was a preamble to us getting to tell you that you can trade TF items while going to the bathroom. Move over, reading a magazine! Take a hike, preparing dinner!

Anyway, check out the Steam Blog post for more information or start sending offers.

Team Fortress Comics #1!

August 27, 2013 - TF2 Team

Hey, everybody! We wrote a comic! It’s full-sized, it stars the whole cast of the TF2niverse, and at least one person dies in it! It’s the first issue of an ongoing six-part series, set to come out bi-monthly, and you can read it here.

This is the first time we’re releasing a comic that isn’t tied to an impending update. Why are we doing this? Because sometimes reading is its own reward. Not most of the time, obviously. But we think you’ll agree this comic series deserves to join the menu at the Olive Garden, Fitzscott Gerald’s The Great Greatsby, and the beginning part of a jet-ski manual that tells you how to start the jet-ski as one of the three or four things humanity has produced that’s actually worth reading.

You are about to embark a word-packed adventure. And what better way to send you off than with this famous quote about the joys and perils of reading?

Happy Not-At-All-Late 17th Birthday!

August 27, 2013 - TF2 Team

It's a special day today, folks—and that's because just four thousand minutes ago on this day, Team Fortress turned 17 years old! (We were going to give you a list of other things that turned 17 this year, but it turns out when you google "17 year old celebrities" at work, someone from HR comes by and tells you the police want to talk to you.)

Anyway, to celebrate our right-on-time, certainly-wasn't-on-August-24th birthday, we're pushing out an update! Just like last year, we're handing out Birthday Party Hats, which you can equip all year round, and Birthday Noise Makers, which can only be used over the next couple of days.

In non-birthday-related update news, we've also added something mysterious called Chemistry Sets for you curious chemists out there, and Romevision sharing, so anybody playing Mann vs. Machine on the same server with an owner of the Hardy Laurel can opt in. All that plus the usual bug fixes and map updates.

All we ask in return is that we all pretend it's August 24th. Because that definitely is the date that today is.

RomeBots: History Comes Alive!

August 20, 2013 - TF2 Team

You don't need to read a history book to know that Rome was a thriving empire bent on conquest, or a rich fantasy world populated by minotaurs, cyclopses and hobbits. Either way, you don't need a fancy history degree to know it was probably one of those.

You also don't need to go to four years of BS history school to get an all-class laurel wreath. You just need to pre-purchase Total War: Rome II. Once you get the wreath, try equipping it in a game of Mann vs. Machine to watch history come alive with an authentic Rome-Bot Invasion. You don't have to be a fat know-nothing history professor to figure out that we painstakingly researched every single aspect of these Ancient Roman robots for 100% historical accuracy, from going to the library only to find it closed to remembering stuff about that trip we took to Italy once, which is probably close to Rome.

So pre-purchase Total War: Rome II today to get your laurel, and sock it to those history majors who think they know more about Ancient Rome history than you just because you dropped out of their stupid history college after one semester and they got a smelly diploma.